My True Essence

You’re Here

You’re here… I felt your presence the second you walked in
My heart started pounding and I got goose bumps on my skin
My senses suddenly came alive causing my sexual energy to rise
I feel like I am the winner about to claim the grand prize
The anticipation of seeing you makes my yoni tingle and wet
I want to make love to you right now but I know we can’t just yet
I am admiring you from afar, loving everything I see
Your eyes scan the room and stop when they zoom in on me
I love to see that twinkle in your eye and smile on your face
It makes my heart skip a beat and my breathing pick up pace
I give you that sex look letting you know that I want you
You acknowledge me with a nod and grin like you always do
You’re mingling while watching me out the corner of your eye
I can’t concentrate on what’s being said no matter how hard I try
I’m ready to get home so we can try some new things
Maybe do a little role playing and see what else the night brings
Whatever it brings I know it’s going to be a good night
My goal is to please you and love you right

My True Essence

Living Like A Turtle

When I’m asked to describe myself, I often refer to myself as a turtle. I say a turtle because I have lived my life as such. Staying inside my protective shell, hidden away from the drama, disappointment, back stabbing, “all about me” society we live in. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true. Years ago after being hurt and betrayed by some of the people I trusted most; I balled up and climbed into my shell. I tell you I loved my shell. It was my way of dealing with the pain of it all or not dealing with it all I should say. It worked well for me though… for a long time, and I was good with that.

I woke up one day feeling so alone. Surrounded by family, but yet, still alone. It was like I was hidden too deep within myself… like a shell within my shell. It was then that I realized I could no longer live my life like a turtle. Although my shell made me feel protected and safe, I sometimes feel it did more harm than good. It served its purpose of keeping out the bad but it also kept out the good. It kept some of the right people from getting close to me especially some of the key people who should’ve been close to me. On that day, I decided I needed to turtle up and poke my head out into the real world. I started opening up to receiving new friendships and nourishing the ones I had neglected over the years. I vowed to stop living within myself.

I will admit things were going well for a while. I got really comfortable outside my shell. Then damn… it happened. Lies were told, truths were twisted, confidences were broken, and friendships shattered. All of the horrible things I tried to shelter myself from came crashing down around me. As a result, I hauled my behind back to my shell as fast as I could because it’s safe there. It protects me. It keeps all of the negativity and foolishness out. I know I can’t live my life in this shell forever but I will stay here until I am comfortable enough to come out again. The difference this time is I promise not to lose myself within my shell. Despite it all, I love life. I love living… even if it’s like a turtle.

My True Essence

Unequally Yoked

I Love You… But I Can’t Stand You Sometimes

I love you

But I can’t stand you sometimes
One minute…I want to love you
The next…kill you and just do the time
Loving you is like being on a roller coaster
We go round and round, fast and slow
Some days we’re riding high; other days we’re low
I get mad becuz you don’t always treat me right
I will admit you’re good
But your game ain’t airtight
I can tell you’re used to young girls
The ones you just sex and rock their world
Fill their head with all kinds of bullshit
Served up so good even you believe it
You are a smooth brother
I can’t help but give you that
You even had me hooked
Like an addict on crack
But I shook it off
Got myself back on track
Stopped tripping about you
And started focusing on me and mine
Yeah I love you
But I can’t stand you sometimes….

My True Essence

Fantasy

It’s time to make this fantasy come true
The key players are just the two of us: me and you
I picked the hotel on Paradise Street
It overlooks the lake and is a good place to meet
All I ask is for you to leave your inhibitions at the door
And get serious about what we came here for
Since we don’t have much time, only an hour
I will be waiting for you to join me in the shower…

In the shower is where it all begins
And the place called ecstasy is where it ends
You start by kissing me and sucking on my lips
You slide your hand down my body pass my hips
You don’t stop until it finds my “Treasure Chest”
You stroke it while your other hand fondles my breast
You get down on your knees and lift my leg high in the air
You bury your face into my treasure like you belong there
It feels so good I don’t even care my hair is getting wet
I’m squirming because I am not ready to cum just yet…

My True Essence

I’m Hurting

Not the hurt you get from hitting your elbow

Or kicking the end of the coffee table with your big toe

It’s not the hurt you get when you get a bad paper cut

Or when the stationary bike at the gym hurts your butt

It’s a greater kind of hurt you feel deep down in your soul

The kind that wears you down and makes you feel old

The kind of hurt that goes way beyond the tears

The kind it takes months to shake, sometimes even years

You told the secrets you promised you’d keep

You said things that stung and cut me real deep

You did awful things to hurt my feelings and my heart

But I won’t let you keep tearing my soul apart

The good thing about time is that it helps ease the pain
And get over the craziness and get back to being sane

I’m going to get myself together and make it through
Even though I’m hurting, I will get over you

My True Essence

Missed You

Babe, it’s been a while and oh… how I’ve missed you

The talks, the walks and the little things you do

Like the notes you leave for me on my side of the bed

Or the growling sounds you make when I’m giving you head

I miss the way you look at me with pure desire in your eyes

Like you’re the winner and I’m your special prize

I miss the way you kiss me with soft pecks down my spine

And the way you drink my juices like it’s a fine wine

I’m going to show you just how much I’m glad to have you back

I bought a cute little nightie in your favorite color… black

I want you to remember the reason why you call me your sex queen

Or the way you get turned on when we act out your favorite sex scene

I’m going to take my time and make love to you like never before

Then I’m going to fuck you until I can’t fuck you anymore

And when we’re done, I’m going to let you rest for a few

Then wake you up so we can get started on round two

My True Essence

I Love You

I love you

Because of that I stayed longer than I should

Stayed even when I know you meant me no good

Doing things I said I never would

Letting you get away with stuff because you could

I gave up me

Hoping to keep you

I realize now that was crazy as hell to do

Lord knows I have been a fool a time or two

I haven’t learned because I allowed you to make one of me too

Now I chose me

I can’t be that person I was before

That’s not who I am or what I stand for

So get your things and walk out that door

I love you but I love me more

My True Essence

Black Man! Black Man!

There are no other men like you on this earth

You were destined to be strong from your day of birth
Strong enough to handle all of the struggles life throws your way
Determined enough to do it day after day

No one has had to struggle as hard as you, Black Man

While doing everything to provide the best way you can
Having to prove your worth time and time again
While still being a loving husband, father and friend

I love when you stand tall and proud

Or when you kneel to pray with your head bowed
I love the way your daughter’s smile melts your heart
Or how your son idealizes you from the start

I know it’s not always easy being the strong one

But you keep pushing on until your work is done
So keep on pushing, being the man God called you to be
Black Man! Black Man! You are so special to me

My True Essence